I’m not usually going to post more than once a day (I’m aiming for once or twice a week so as not to bore everyone), but as its 1st of November I just wanted to mark the fact that 2015 is fast approaching the exit! I cannot express how much I want this awful year to be over and done with, the slight sticking point is Christmas which has to be completed before the year can do one. I don’t really want Christmas to happen as Rory should be with us but that would be unfair on Toby as he ‘gets’ Christmas and is looking forward to it, the bargaining tool of calling the big man in red when Toby is being a monkey is pretty handy too. In Sainsbury’s today I saw a cute knitted onesie depicting a Christmas scene and my first thought was that Rory would have looked so cute in it as a 5 month old on the big day. It hit home that he won’t be there and we’ll all be sat around the table putting on brave happy faces for Toby. Just when Christmas was starting to be fun after all the childless years it’s reinvented itself as an ever present marker of our loss. Roll on 2016!