This time of year prompts you to reflect on the last 12 months. I’ve been thinking a lot about the rollercoaster of a year 2015 has been. The year started with excitement and expectation and then at spring when new life was all around we lost our precious boy. I will never get over it but I am learning to accept my new life even if it’s one I don’t really want.
Not long after Rory died I came up with an analogy about a road. Here it is again, I hope others facing a life they didn’t expect find it a comfort, feel free to share it.
When life is going well it almost feels you are on a motorway going at full throttle, your surroundings are a blur and you are just focused on getting to where you thought you were meant to be going. Motorways all look the same and feel normal.
But then something happens and you need to come off the motorway. At first you are a bit lost and frightened of the unfamiliar surroundings, tall trees loom down and it is dark and gloomy and it feels like you are travelling further and further away from the familiar safe motorway where everyone else is. You feel alone and isolated and you cling on to the people travelling with you.
Somehow after a long time in the darkness you make a turning and find a pretty road where the trees are spread out and it is brighter. On one side you can see the dark scary road and you can hear the faint distant hum of the motorway. The road is winding and takes longer to reach every junction but it is pretty and driving at a slower pace means you can take in your surroundings and appreciate the beauty of the world.
Eventually you end up on a road running alongside the motorway, you can see your beautiful surroundings and you can see the fast cars travelling along the motorway. You still wish you could get on the motorway again but a part of you doesn’t want to as actually the road you found is quite special and peaceful. For the moment you are happy with where you are.
If you end up back on the motorway you’d be happy but for the time being you try to make the best of the slower road you are on.