Days 16 and 17 of #mayweallheal (yes I did forget to post yesterday). Joy and On Coming Alive. After Rory died I honestly believed I would never ever find joy again, but like a flower opening in the spring sunshine I slowly started to bloom and found joy where I though there was none. A day that sticks out was Rory’s cremation, a day we were all dreading but my little family managed to have a happy joyful afternoon out in the sunshine. I remember standing there on the cliff top watching Toby and Matt run on ahead thinking ‘I should be really sad right now but I’m so happy I have them’. I surprised myself that afternoon and I do try to find joy where I can.
My discovery of joy after loss leads me onto On Coming Alive. Part of me died along with Rory but slowly I have rebuilt myself and feel like my post Rory life is a new one and I have accepted it. I am grateful and happy to be alive carrying Rory with me every day.