Milestones of a different kind

Yesterday I was shopping in a local garden centre, they have a nice book and gift department so Toby and I had a wander around. As I browsed I spotted a pack of baby milestone cards, you may have seen them featured in baby photos to mark each week and achievement. You know the ones, those with an Instagram filter and Cath Kidston bedding in the background, the kitch factor is up there with gender reveal photos for me. 

I first became aware of the cards when I was on a page for those pregnant after IVF. The page made me twitchy as all these ladies thought love was perfect, they didn’t know or care that babies can and do die. They were excited by these cards and posted pictures of their babies at 2, 4, 6 weeks and a small part of me wished the cards were around when Toby was small as its actually hard to remember how old he was in photos! 

As I stood in the shop on Sunday I wondered what milestone cards for Rory and Henry would be like. 

Week 1: mummy and daddy are lost.

Week 2 (and every week since): mummy can’t do baby sounds.

Week 3: cremation or funeral.

Week 4: counselling.

Week 5: trips to the GP.

Week 6: still not coping.

Week 7: back to work.

Week 8: more appointments.

The weeks have rolled by since Rory and Henry died and part of me wishes that I had cards to mark the time. Anniversaries of due dates, treatment dares and death days are all we have of the boys now.

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