Day 17 – Sacred Space
At first glance I thought this was an easy one today! Of course our sacred space is the corner of our bedroom where the memory boxes, hand prints, teddies and ashes live. Those things are the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night. I went up to take a photo and realised that corner was a bit neglected. There was lots of dust, a photo album waiting to be filled and on top of that, the Remember my Baby memory stick; next to the bears sat an empty photo frame waiting for a Henry hand print cast. A shelf sits in the corner waiting to be put up. I felt sad and ashamed that I’d let Rory and Henry’s corner get so untidy and not got round to putting the shelf up and filling the album and frame.
I’ve always been a bit untidy (Matt will vouch for that!), but this space should be neat and tidy as it special, sacred and loved. How could I neglect it? I know why, it’s so simple – looking after and tending this little corner of our bedroom means connecting with my grief on a far deeper level and poking that piece of my heart that is trying to heal.
October is a difficult month for me, I’m approaching the days when a second wave of trauma hit me and I’m feeling unsettled as I know I’m about to relive it all over again knowing that in the year since then a second baby died and I didn’t get my happy ending.
As I write this though, I wonder if tending that sacred space will help me to tend my heart? Time to get the duster out…