Day 20 Gratitude #captureyourgrief

Day 20 Gratitude 

Some days it’s really hard to feel grateful for anything given the lot we’ve been drawn. But Toby will bounce into the room and I’m reminded once again how lucky we are to have him. 

I’m grateful he made it, grateful I was strong enough to face 5 cycles of fertility treatment and grateful we could afford the £21k to get there. Some people can’t afford endless cycles of treatment, for some people ivf never works and even if it does, some people never have a living child to care for in the end.

It may be an odd thing to say but I’m grateful for Rory and Henry, their existence and their loss has taught me about a love so deep it hurts. They’ve also taught me who I can rely on to look after my heart and who I can’t. I’m more resilient, stronger than I think, more compassionate . I’m changed but changed for the better.

Thank you to all three of my boys, I’m so grateful you are mine.

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