Day 24 Consciously Becoming
I’ve been a bit confused by this prompt and have spent a fair bit of the evening with ideas bouncing around my head.
I guess the question is what have I become since the boys died? Stronger, more resilient, more kind, more compassionate – possibly all of those. However, I’ve also become less tolerant, more introverted, isolated, bitter, worrisome, anxious.
I’m trying to become more of the good stuff and less of the negative stuff but it’s hard sometimes. Today I spent a lot of the day with a fellow loss mum and it was nice to feel normal, there were no awkward silences at the mention of our babies, understanding and we had lots of fun with our boys.
I need to remember the good days and the nice things in order to put away the bad things as they have the potential to overcome me and swallow me up.
I have been changed by the boys and my experiences and I need it to be for the better not for the worse.