Day 26 #whathealsyou
I’m not sure I’ll ever be truly healed, actually I know I won’t. I am not going to be without scars after losing two baby boys late in pregnancy, giving birth to them, holding their cold dead bodies and seeing their little coffins at the crematorium.
I stupidly believed that a baby would heal me but Henry didn’t, not just because he died but because he wasn’t Rory. All the time I was pregnant with Henry I just wanted Rory back and then just as I’d started to accept my pregnancy, to date that we’d make it through, Henry died.
There are however things that help with the healing, with feeling normal.
In no particular order these things that heal me are:
- My family
- Southampon Sands members
- My counsellor
- Cheesy pop music
- Harry Potter (books or film, I don’t mind)
- A cold crisp sunny morning
- Talking about my experiences
- Remembering our babies
- Other people remembering our babies
- People who get it and don’t judge
- Raising awareness
- Walking (this is a new one)
- Taking Toby to and from school
- Having choice about situations/places/people I am exposed to (that’s a big one for me)