Day 31 Sunset Reflection #captureyourgrief

Day 31 – Sunset Reflection

If Toby was my sunrise then Rory and Henry are my sunset.

Every day starts and ends with me thinking about them. How different life would have been if just one of my boys could have stayed.

There will be no more babies for us, we made that decision in June when we were told Henry was going to die and the doctor confirmed it in September, another donor egg pregnancy will likely end up the same way. My boys are the sunset on our infertility journey, with confidence we have called it a day. I will never stop being infertile but at least now there’s no planning ahead 9 months, no costly treatments, no epic failures. Today starts national fertility week which seems fitting to come straight after baby loss awareness month.

This month has been a mixed bag, it is the month Henry was due this year, the month he and Rory were created and the month we found we were pregnant with Rory in 2014 and October was the month a whole new trauma struck last year. But amongst all the sadness and reflection has been joy and love and achievement and I’m so very grateful for that.

I’ve enjoyed having a nudge to write daily blog posts this month, I’m not sure I’ll keep writing every day but I will still write as and when my heart tells me to.


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