Firstly, apologies for sharing a link from the Daily Fail, but it’s a good one – I promise!
Matt and I were ‘lucky’ in that we had excellent bereavement care at our local hospital, sadly others are not as fortunate. A hospital 20 minutes away from home is a complete contrast with a dingy room and patchy care – a lovely loss mama friend is trying to change that though!
Two things resonated with me in the article:
‘I had lost my baby, yet the world hadn’t stopped’.
I remember sitting in my lounge after Rory died being angry at our magnolia tree as it had come into bud. I was incredulous – our world had ended yet everyone else was carrying on as normal! How was it possible? After Henry it was easier as we knew the world had to carry on even if we didn’t agree! I still can’t believe we had the strength to host Matt’s birthday party less than a week after Henry died though.
‘Without a living baby, I was made to feel I was no longer a priority’.
Whilst the bereavement midwife team were fab, the community midwife team were shit. The midwives couldn’t get in and out fast enough! Then our final appointment was postposned due to illness, essentially as my baby had died I wasn’t important and got bumped down the list. I already felt worthless and this added to it. I complained and had a nice response assuring me things would change. We’ll never know if things are better as we refused visits after Henry died. Quite honestly I didn’t need the stress of them being shit again.
Anyway, if you do have 5 minutes to spare, please have a read (link below).