Possibility 

‘There is a possibility that things will happen early again and if it does there’s not much we can do’. These words were said to us at our follow-up after Rory died.

It was a possibility that I pushed to the back of my mind. It couldn’t happen again, we can’t possibly have two babies die. How unfair would that be?

Henry was our baby full of possibilities. He was the spare, popped in the freezer and forgotten about. He was our possible chance at a living sibling, a possible healthy baby a possible return to normal life.

We were realistic and knew he wouldn’t be born in October, there was a big possibility he would be born in August or September but it ended up being June.

After our 20 week scan we had a follow up with the fetal medicine team and there was a possibility that we could plod on with clexane injections being added to the aspirin tablets. The possible chance was taken. 

Then at our scan two weeks later we were told that there was a high possibility that Henry would die in the next few days. The words ‘nature will take its course’ were banded about by the doctor and midwife. 

All that potential for life all the possibilities drained out of Henry’s tiny body by my defective immune system.

There is no possibility of another living baby for us. There are options and other possibilities of course but at the moment neither are right. 

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