This one is easy today as I had a shit storm in a teacup happen this morning. All because I shared an event post with a comment about going but avoiding the happy ending babies.
Another loss mama took exception to this and my use of the term ‘happy ending baby’ and with messages back and forth made me feel like I was being horrible for just wanting to sit in the corner and not have people bring their babies over to say hello.
It is clear we had both misinterpreted what each other was saying and we no doubt both had a shit day because of it.
I spent 40 minutes sat in the lounge at the gym responding to messages regarding the incident, all whilst tears of sadness and frustration rolled down my cheeks. I probably looked like a crazy person crying into my coffee but I don’t really care, there are worst places to be seen crying (work for example!).
There have been numerous occasions these past two years when things I have said have been misinterpreted, usually resulting in a massive fall out and emotions running high.
I tend to keep things in and then they just explode, I should learn, I know I should not do this.
Part of me thinks I should shut up and keep quiet to the outside world in order to avoid miscommunication and to avoid hurt but the militant part of me wants to speak out, wants to challenge the norm and wants to change things.
So even if my words are misconstrued or might make people feel uncomfortable I’m going to keep communicating, keep challenging, keep sharing my story. I know the fallout will hurt, but if I can make things better for just one person in future then it is worth it.