I was all set to write an end of school year celebration and then this popped up in my news feed. So Toby will have to wait.
Here’s the link: Still Standing Magazine
The writer acknowledges that not everyone gets a rainbow (brilliant I thought!), and then she goes on to whine about the difficulties of a rainbow pregnancy 🙄
I can empathise with her, I really can as I felt all of those things when pregnant with Henry, I get it. I get that you just want a baby, I get that you want your dead baby back, I get that you don’t want baby showers, gender reveals and the general merriment associated with pregnancy.
But my rainbow died – the unimaginable happened and I have to navigate life without a happy ending, without the joy that a rainbow brings. I know a rainbow doesn’t take the pain away but I’d imagine it makes it a lot softer. I can only imagine the bittersweetness of those newborn cuddles, but my gosh, the joy of cuddling your new baby must be amazing. I know I have Toby, I’m lucky I know I am, but I carry his grief too, he doesn’t have a rainbow to cuddle and sometimes he gets cross and upset about that.
I don’t have a problem with someone whining about their rainbow pregnancy but I do have issue with the opening gambit of the Still Standing post as it acknowledges people who don’t get their happy ending but STILL goes on to whine about a rainbow pregnancy.
It’s a bit like someone with a pizza, saying to their friend who is nil by mouth ‘this is your favourite isn’t it?’ and then proceeding to scoff the lot and then moaning about indigestion and then saying you wish you hadn’t eaten it. You wouldn’t do it would you? So, rainbow mums, please don’t tell me how joyless your life is, cuddle your baby a little harder and think for a moment what it might be to navigate your life without them.